Expressing What’s True for You


Your Challenge: Do you have a hard time expressing your real feelings on the job because you’re afraid they’re unacceptable? Are you aware of your feelings in the moment, or only after the event is over and the opportunity has passed? Do you express your feelings in roundabout ways, hoping the message will get back to the right people and change will occur?


Proven Strategy: Tune into yourself, and express your feelings verbally in appropriate ways at work. It’s the only way you’ll have any influence on the decisions that affect you. Adopt Nova’s suggested behaviors and see the difference in how you feel and the results you get.

Here’s a sample of just one of the strategies you get:

Voicing disagreement is not a guarantee of prevailing.
You can express your true feelings at work in ways that are professional and appropriate. Use these stems: “I don’t like,” “I am afraid,” “I like,” “I feel confused about,” “I appreciate,” “I am excited about,” “I feel concerned about.” After you have expressed your feelings, stop and let others respond. Usually your colleagues will want to address your needs, so give them room to figure out what to do. You will get more of what you want that way, and the quality of the group’s decision-making will be better than if you fail to be direct about your feelings.

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